Down Into Nothing
by Rae TB
Summary: And as it happened, they all fell down. Down. Down. Down, into nothing. Sequel to Crimson On White. Brooklyn centric self harm fic focusing on his friendship with the other members of his team and the consequences of cutting.


This goes over the consequences of Brooklyn's actions from Crimson on White, cutting ain't all puppies and rainbow and chocolate covered poodles ya' know. In other words, this is C.O.W.'s...hmm...wow...the abbreviation for Crimson on White _**is**_ C.O.W. and the one for this one is D.I.N. which isn't quite as good, but oh well...anyway, this is the serious, brutally honest sequel to C.O.W.

...MOOOOOOOO XD

Disclaimer: ...It is not mine. I do not own it; I will never own it, I do not make money off of it or the characters.

Dedication: To Kanilla whom I love with all my heart.

_Italic_ is a flashback

* * *

Black.

There was nothing but black.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't scream. All I could do was sink further downward.

Down.

Down.

Down into nothing.

There was no way up, no way out, just a perpetual fall into nothingness.

The walls I had painstakingly put around my soul were being blown down with the mighty force of a hammer and I could vaguely register people crying out to me. They were my team, and they had discovered my secret. They knew, and now I was exposed, naked for all to see. "Brooklyn...open the door!" Garland cried out, flinging his shoulder against the entrance of the room, crashing into it with a dull thud.

My void eyes glowered at the door as the impact of Garland's shoulder caused it to whine in protest. I clutched the handle of the razor in my hand tightly, determined not to let go at all costs. I was bitter at my captain for discovering, but most of all I was bitter at myself. How could I have been so incompetent? A frown graced my lips as I shut my eyes and tried to evoke the forgotten recollections of the past from the murky waters of the recesses of my mind.

"_So Brooklyn, are you ready to finally be beaten?" Garland had challenged cockily as I rolled my eyes, a grin gracing my features. We had finally made it outside and I was currently standing across from him, readying my blade. It was a gorgeous day and around me nature was bustling, every animal going about its usual business, the sun showering its vibrant rays upon the vegetation which eagerly took it in. _

"_You wish," I scoffed getting into position as he looked me over._

"_Hey...don't you think it's a little warm to be wearing long sleeves like that?" he asked raising a brow as I shrugged my shoulders half heartedly._

"_I've always worn the same thing, and you've never complained before," I stated as Garland smiled and brushed it off as nothing. He hunched over and prepared his blade, his long silver hair cascading down his back like the crystal waters of a pure river. Each piece seemed to shimmer as though diamonds had been smashed and sprinkled in his lengthy locks. His blue eyes were every bit as brilliant but looked more like the pure water of a lake._

"_Earth to Brooklyn, are you ready to be beaten or not?" Garland smirked as I shook my head. I had given him way too much hope for a win in the past. I had no choice but to teach him a lesson now. _

"_Only if you're ready for a big surprise if that's what you think," I grinned in return, his eyes twinkling with mischief as we launched our blades. Zeus landed in the dish perfectly with no hitches. Garland's start was a different story entirely however. My teal gaze watched him in slight confusion as his blade flew past the dish. What was he doing?...I stood and observed in utter confusion as it soared through the air, cutting the atmosphere in two, sending small aftershocks around it. Everything seemed to slow down as I realized where it was heading in horror: me. _

_Garland's Apollon sliced through the long sleeves of my shirt effortlessly, leaving my scars and fresh wounds totally uncovered to the world, "That's much bet-..." Garland began, stopping and staring in shock. His eyes wandered over each individual cut, examining them to my repulsion. I clenched my fist, and took a small step backward, ready to flee at any given moment. _

"_Brooklyn...what...have you __done__?" Garland whispered trying to rush forward to look at them. But I didn't give him the chance to, I rushed off in a mad sprint with the wind whizzing through my ears. I swallowed heavily, ignoring the questions of the others in shame as I passed them. _

"_Brooklyn?" Ming Ming squeaked looking at me oddly._

"_Hey Brook-...woah man, what happened to your arm?" Mystel asked._

"_Brooklyn, what-" Crusher started as I slammed the door shut, blocking them all out. I couldn't hear them anymore. I could hear __nothing__. I was slowly sinking downward._

_Down._

_Down._

_Down into __nothing_

I snapped back to reality, eyes quenching shut, opening only when I heard my name bellowed again. I didn't need Garland. I didn't need the others. I didn't need anything but this. My savior, my drug, my addiction: my razor. That thought caused me to grin as I shifted the cool plastic in the palm of my hand watching light bounce off the metal ridges. "Brooklyn, what you're doing is dangerous!" I heard Mystel cry out.

Dangerous?

Oh, they didn't know the meaning of the word dangerous. But I would teach them, I would show them just how dangerous I could be, just how much one individual could hurt. I would show them how one person's scream can go unheard, their cry unanswered as they slowly shriveled before everything and everyone into nothingness. "No...no...you're just deceiving me!" I croaked out. They're lying to me...they just didn't want me to be happy, they just didn't understand. No one understood. No one.

"We just want to help you!" Crusher boomed and I glanced at the door in agitation.

"If you really cared, you would go away," I shouted. "You would leave me be and let me deal with this in my own way!" I bellowed, backing against the wall, my shoulders quaking. They're disgusted with me, I can tell. Everyone is disgusted with me, and I am disgusted with myself. What I have done to myself is wrong, everything about me is wrong. All my relations with my so called friends would be cracked now, and nothing would ever be the same again.Everything would soon break apart.

Down.

Down.

Down into nothing.

"That is IT Brooklyn," Garland growled impatiently. "Let it rip!" he cried out, his blade bursting through the door, destroying it into pieces. The collision sent the wood flying backward, going every which way. I smiled wryly at the thought of the demolished lumber. The door was now in pieces like me. I soon came back to my senses, my face turning pastel as I was caught with the razor in my hand. No...not like this, not like this, gods no, not like this.

"Go away," I repeated, breathing heavily. "GO AWAY!" I screamed backing up as Garland hesitantly stepped forward.

"Brooklyn...stay calm...we just want to help you..." he began, talking slowly, suddenly jumping forward mid-sentence, as he spoke to distract me, grabbing the razor from my hand. It had happened before I could register it and when I had grasped what had taken place I could feel myself filling to the brim with anger.

"You tricked me!" I yelled, fighting to get it back as he kept me away.

"No Brooklyn, it's over! We're getting you help!" Garland spat, my heart tightening. Those were the worst words he could have possibly said at that moment. He thought I was some repulsive creature in which everything was wrong. He thought I was all wrong.

"I don't need help," I whispered. "I. don't. need. help." I spat out, hissing one word at a time, tremors shaking my body.

"Brooklyn...compose yourself," Garland commanded. "I don't want to have to restrain you," he stated in a dangerously quiet voice causing me to stiffen. Each word was tightly leashed with impatience, with anger, with annoyance, all directed at me. When would he understand?

I could not be restrained.

"If you're hurting yourself...destroying your body in such a way...Brooklyn, you need help," Mystel stated, trying to reach out to touch me as I jerked away.

"Give me the razor back Garland," I challenged as he frowned.

"No Brooklyn."

"Give. It. Back." I ground out.

"No. Brooklyn.," he repeated, aggravation blistering within me.

"It belongs to me, it's mine!" I screamed out, Mystel holding me back. He shh-ed me, keeping me locked in his embrace as he rocked me back and forth, stroking my hair gently. I fought for several minutes, screaming, cursing, thrashing, but his arms stayed firm. I soon stopped, eyes falling downcast as I crumpled to the ground, unable to deny that I enjoyed his embrace. It was the first real one I had received in my entire life, and I cherished it.

"Look at what this...this thing has done to you Brooklyn..." Garland whispered. "It's destroying our relationship as friends...it's destroying you. It's become your master," he muttered as I fought back angry tears. I knew it was true, I knew that it controlled every aspect of my life now. But I was useless as a human being without it. It was vital to my survival. I had become dependent upon it.

"It's caused you to block us all out...you've put so many walls around yourself, you won't let us in anymore, and it's all because of this," the blond haired ball of energy known as Mystel stated. Who knew they could be so insightful?...I guess I had been spending less and less time with them because of cutting. I had forgotten what they were like.

Garland nodded in agreement, "With every day that passes, you trust us less and less," our leader sighed kneeling before me as though I were a small child. But in a way, I was one. I was lost, and I needed guidance more than ever. I didn't want to admit it, but I needed them...I needed my friends. A growl escaped my throat as I shook my head, bringing myself back to reason.

"Y-You're still just trying to trick me! It's all just one big joke! There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing, NOTHING!" I screamed as Garland took my arm in his hands. I raised a single ginger brow, watching him look my cuts over sadly, tracing each one and sighing heavily before looking into my eyes.

"Brooklyn...look at your arm," Garland whispered, my vision turning away. "Please Brooklyn!" he cried and my gaze turned back to the angry cuts. My eyes widened as I looked at my arm. It seemed as though every part of it was littered with marks. It was all because I was weak, all because I hadn't been able to handle the pain. I pressed my lips together, fighting to keep from crying as Garland tilted my chin up to look me in the eye. "It's okay...to cry you know," he smiled softly, my shoulders shaking. I couldn't take it anymore. I launched myself into his arms which he wrapped around my back, stroking it soothingly. I could feel an object press into my back and stiffened when I realized what it was: the razor he had been holding...my razor.

"Get that thing away from me..." I choked. "Take it away!" I cried squeezing him tightly as I burrowed my face in his chest. The silver haired teen quietly handed the despised object to Crusher who nodded and left the room to expose of it as Garland and Mystel comforted me. Hot tears rolled down my face, glistening and dropping to the ground in a small pool of emotion. Meanwhile, Ming Ming watched on helplessly, not knowing what to do. I couldn't blame her, or Crusher. Neither knew how to react to this kind of thing...Ming Ming was a young sheltered superstar and Crusher wasn't good with emotions. They were still helping though. In their own ways, they were helping. Just by being there, I knew they cared.

"It's okay Brooklyn...it's okay...we're here now...We're not quite sure how to help you but..." Garland trailed.

"We'll do whatever it takes!" Ming Ming finished, wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah, you've done so much for us...now it's time for us to do something for you," Mystel agreed, Crusher entering the room once more as I gazed up at each of them.

"Thank you..." I whispered, unable to think of anything else to say. I was ready now. The razor had stripped a year and a half of my life away, and I was prepared to reclaim that time. Because of the razor, because of that thing...I hadn't been able to enjoy life. I was always worrying about someone finding out, and never able to concentrate on the more important things. "I just...I'm..." I trailed sighing. "What if...if I try to stop but...I-I fall flat on my face?" I swallowed.

"If you fall Brooklyn...so will we...we'll all fall down together," Mystel stated, Ming Ming sniffling and nodding. Garland and Crusher agreed as we joined together as a team, all of us embracing for the first time.

And as it happened, we did all fall down... together.

Down.

Down.

Down.

Into nothing.

FIN

So I'm curious to know what you guys thought. Me and about four other people didn't think a sequel to C.O.W...I never get tired of saying that...would work. I think we all had different reasoning, but mine was that the first one was too meaningful and thought provoking for one about the consequences of cutting to actually work. I didn't think it would do the other one any justice. But I want to know what you readers think. Did I fail and bring shame to the name of C.O.W.?...XD Was this one every bit as good? Or would you say it was even better?

Let me know please!


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